The "My Last Fuck" Preservation Vial

Sealed for Your Protection (and Mine).

$7.99

I’ve checked the archives. I’ve checked the warehouse. I even checked the spam folder. This is it.

This medical-grade glass vial contains a single, endangered specimen: My Last Fuck.

It has been hermetically sealed and placed on my desk for historical reference only. It is not available for "quick syncs," "urgent deadlines," or "reply-all" email chains.

Visual Aid Protocol:

  • Step 1: Place prominently on your desk facing the guest chair.

  • Step 2: When a coworker asks if you have capacity for a new project, simply tap the glass.

  • Step 3: Maintain eye contact until they leave.

  • Container: Glass Specimen Vial with Natural Cork Stopper.

  • Top Label: "My Last Fuck" (Burned into the cork so they know it's official).

  • Contents: One (1) Precision-Cut Wood Token.

  • Status: CRITICAL INVENTORY. Do not open under any circumstances.

Proudly Made

From the boutique elegance of Beauxline to the sharp wit of Twisted, every piece is hand-crafted in our Lafayette, LA workshop and delivered to your door—wherever that may be.

Precision Etching, Shipped Nationwide.

Custom Orders

in Acadiana

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